Saturday, January 28, 2012

My Lover.

Maybe it's because I've never had a boyfriend, that this idea of God as Lover has a special place in my heart. I think most of us can admit that we all long for romance: to be desired, pursued, fought for, loved. And when we've never experienced it, or when we've experienced a romance gone sour, we tend to get cynical and bitter about it (or maybe that's just me). Sometimes, we even start to believe the lie that we're unlovable, that there's something fundamentally wrong with us that keeps us alone.

Well, there is something fundamentally wrong with us--all of us--but that's another story, one that started way back in the beginning. But that's not what keeps us alone.

Because there is Someone who desires you, pursues you, fights for you, loves you.

It used to make me uncomfortable, the idea of God as Lover. I could deal with God as master, God as friend, and God as Father. But lover is such an intimate--and let's face it, slightly awkward--term to be used for your relationship with the King of the universe.

But when we take a look at the Bible, it's impossible to escape it. Check this out:
"Therefore I am now going to allure [you]; I will lead you into the desert and speak tenderly to [you]...I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the LORD." (Hosea 2:14, 19-20) 
If that's not romance, I don't know what is. God is proposing to us. And if you still don't believe me, read Song of Songs. Yes, it's a wonderful story about the way God designed marriage to work between a husband and wife here on Earth; but there are also tons of spiritual implications in there, vivid images that reveal so much about our relationship with Him.

The more I come to terms with the revelation of God as Lover (not that I'll ever fully comprehend it this side of heaven), the more incredible it becomes. Whenever I start to feel invisible, unlovable, ugly--God reminds me that He chose me. He paid the greatest price possible to win my heart. He calls me beautiful, beloved. He is in love with me.

And suddenly, it doesn't matter that I don't have a boyfriend. My value has already been determined. I already know that I am beautiful, that I am worth fighting for. That's the truth of the matter, no matter what the insecurities, or even our immediate circumstances, try to say. Because people will fail you, (attempt to) devalue you, mishandle your heart. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes through simple neglect or apathy. But no matter how close they are to you--friends, parents, husband or wife--they still don't see as God sees, they don't know as God knows. God sees and knows your whole heart, the deepest places, the broken places--and He declares you lovely.

"The king is enthralled by your beauty." -Psalms 45:11

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