Yes, I know it is necessary. Without change being forced upon us, we would never grow; we'd simply curl up in our mediocrity and sleep right through life. At least, that's what I would do. I have a tendency to be lazy and fearful, and it's so much easier to settle than to fight.
I'm also aware that without change, many of the most beautiful things in my life would never have come to pass. So many beautiful opportunities I'd have lost. So many beautiful people I'd never have met. So many beautiful experiences that taught me more about God, more about the world, more about myself--experiences that have quite irrevocably shaped who I am--that I'd simply have missed out on. I'm in such a better place now than I would have been if certain changes hadn't come my way, painful as they were at the time.
I recently came across a quote that summed these thoughts up quite excellently:
"Everything remembered is dear, endearing, touching, precious. At least the past is safe--though we didn't know it at the time. We know it now. Because it's in the past; because we have survived." -Susan SontagLooking back at the past is usually relatively easy, even if living it was hard. When our future becomes our history, there is no more uncertainty or fear, because it's already happened. Somehow, we made it through. Maybe it was the worst experience of our lives, but at least it's over. And we are still alive.
For now, the future is still the future. But it's a comfort to remember that one day, it will be the past. One day, I'll look back and marvel at the way God worked everything out. The thing that holds so much fear for me in this moment will have no power over me then. And if it will hold no power of me then, why allow it to have any power now? The future is as secure as the past, we just don't realize it yet. But we will. Once it becomes the past; once we have survived.
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