We use a lot of terminology in the Christian church that has to do with pursuing God. "Running after" Him, "seeking" Him, "chasing" Him, "fighting for" Him. Which are all beautiful and true images, in their appropriate context.
But I get tired. I love God, I love Him the very best way that I know how, but I get tired, running after Him all the time. That was why I felt such relief, such immense, trembling relief, when someone once said to me: "All this time, you thought you were chasing after God. But you're wrong. God has been chasing you."
It's there. At the very heart of our Bible, it's there. The story of a God who is passionately pursuing His people. A God who says, "Therefore I am going to allure [Israel, My chosen people, the Church]; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her," a God who whispers to us, "Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me," a God who assures us, "[I] will fight for you; you need only be still," (Hosea 2:14; Song of Songs 2:13; Exodus 14:14).
The only reason we have the desire to seek Him is because He sought us first. The only reason we can even attempt to love is because He loved us first. He is not running away from us, He is not hiding in the shadows, laughing as we wander around in circles crying out to Him in desperation. He longs to be with us. That's why He promises when we seek Him with all our hearts, He will be found. Because that's what He's wanted all along.
It's always been God. He is the Initiator, the Pursuer, the Lover. He is the one who searched for us and found us when we were lost in the darkness, cradling us to His breast even as we bleated and kicked, scrambling to get away. He's the one who takes us back, again and again, after we have thrown our lives away to money and other people's opinions and a thousand other trivialities.
Isn't it a comfort? To know that, on those days we feel like we just don't have the strength to pursue God, He's already got us in His hands. To know that we don't have to be "good enough". And what's more, to know that God has made us worth pursuing! God looked down from heaven and chose us. Looked down and said, "You are worth fighting for." We are worth it because God is willing to do whatever it takes. So no matter what belittling lies Satan tries to come against us with, there is nothing he can do to lessen our immeasurable worth in the eyes of the One who paid the ultimate price for our souls.
Rest in that, beloved. Don't give up, because God hasn't. He won't stop chasing after you.