Lately, I feel as if I have been tiptoeing, arms outstretched, along the brink of overwhelming. It is beautiful, and it is terrifying. And it is teaching me:
God wants us to be in a constant state of desperation. Not in a panicky, fear-driven sense of the word. Rather, it is the desperation of Moses when he pleaded, If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here (Exodus 33:15). It is the desperation of David as he sang, My soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water, and begged, Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me (Psalm 63:1, 51:11). It is the desperation of Peter, who cried out Lord, save me!, and the desperation of a broken-hearted father who exclaimed, I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief! (Mark 9:24).
It is the desperation of those who are aware of their own weakness, their utter lack of control, their absolute need. But it is also a desperation that knows there is an answer, a solution, a victory, in the arms of One who is greater--and pursues that answer with everything.
Regardless of the depths of our passion or the height of our intellect, we cannot create a movement of God. In fact, on our own, we cannot even sustain a movement of God. If God's Spirit is absent, no amount of worship music, no amount of quotes from Scripture, no amount of acts of service, can open up the doorways for souls to hear from Him. When God's Spirit is absent, the best we can manage is a wave of emotion, followed by a burnout.
But. Jesus looks at us and says: With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26).
It's time for us to get desperate. God is moving. He is calling us out, calling us up. He is leading us into the realm of the impossible. Only--don't run ahead of Him. Don't disconnect yourself from the vine. Don't fall into the delusion that you can do this on your own. Because you can't. None of us can. Stay desperate. Stay dependent. Stay focused on the light of His eyes, and the feel of His hand in yours. And in your time of weakness, He'll be all the strength you need.