Like the deer thirsts for a cool drink of water in the heat of the day, so I long for You, my God. I'm desperate for a touch from the living God, my Source of renewal, the Well that never runs dry. Where can I go to find Him? Day after day I've searched, but the only sustenance I've had are my tears. Everyone keeps saying, "Where is your God? You claim He loves you, so why can't you find Him?" These thoughts break my heart. And to think that once, I used to walk among my brothers and sisters in Christ, full of joy and confidence, leading them into the very Presence of God by my proclamation of His goodness in my life.
But why am I so depressed? Why am I so bitter and angry? No matter what troubles I face, no matter what pain I feel, I need to put my hope in God again and continue to glorify His name, for He is the one who saves me--He is still my God.
When the sadness comes, I will remember the Jordan River, the place where You made Your great promises to me, near the peaks of Hermon and Mount Mizar, the mountaintops where You filled me with Your Spirit and lit my face with Your beauty. Troubles keep rushing over me, again, and again, and again, roaring like a waterfall in my ears; Your waves crash over me, drowning my vision. But even in the midst of this, the LORD reveals His unconditional love for me every day. At night, He fills my heart with a gentle song, and I pray to Him, for I know that He is alive and hears me, even when I can't feel Him. I speak to God, my strong Foundation, in the midst of my weakness, crying, "Why have you forgotten me? Why have you allowed this depression to take over, and the demons to torment me?" The enemies' lies sap my strength; it feels like they are snapping my bones in two. They keep taunting me, saying, "Where is your God?"
But why am I so depressed? Why am I so bitter and angry? No matter what troubles I face, no matter what pain I feel, I need to put my hope in God again and continue to glorify His name, for He is the one who saves me--He is still my God.
No comments:
Post a Comment