I have come to realize that every sin is ultimately based upon a lie. There is a reason Satan is called the Deceiver, the Father of Lies. Because of this revelation, I shifted telling the truth towards the top of my priority list.
So I was devastated when it was recently brought to my attention how deeply and continuously I lie, every single day.
There are two kinds of lies we tell: lies we tell others and lies we tell ourselves (since my contemplations on each of these could fill up volumes, I'll stick to an exploration of the former in this entry, and return to the latter at a later date).
Now, the lies we tell others can be further subdivided into conscious and subconscious lies.
Rarely will I make a conscious decision to tell an outright lie to someone. But subconscious lies are my specialty. I don't even think about it; I put on the mask, put up my defenses. Pretend everything is okay when it's not. Use sarcasm to joke about something I don't think is funny at all. Shrug my shoulders, lighten my voice, act like it's no big deal.
I know exactly why this happens. It comes from a lack of trust. Because I'm afraid if people saw the innermost depths of who I am, they would not, could not, love me.
I don't have any answers for this. The easy answer would be to say that God knows every single detail of who I am, and loves me more than the people who only know the pieces, so I should have nothing to fear and be completely comfortable in who I am. Which is true.
But it doesn't solve the problem. Because God made His people a body for a reason. He wants us to be one. He wants us to embody His love. If we can't be honest with each other, real with each other, and if we can't cultivate an environment where this is possible by loving people for who they are, even at their most ugly and broken--we're living a lie while trying to preach the truth.
And a kingdom divided against itself cannot stand.
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