A Shepherd's Heart.

As in introvert ministering in the midst of the many members of the Body of Christ, it hasn't taken me long to discover: my strength is easily exhausted.

Quiet time alone with God has been my solace. My source of refocus and replenishment. And I know it is good, I know it is right--after all, Jesus Himself, regardless of the length of His days, was constantly rising with the muffled glow of dawn or kneeling in shadowed starlight to catch a moment alone with His Father.

So at first, I felt justified in my annoyance whenever my quiet time was interrupted. Random family members entering my room, texts demanding to be answered. I was vaguely guilty about the anger that rose up, as it seemed out of place when mere seconds before I had been resting in God's peace. But I simply wanted the world, in these moments, to leave me be--was that too much to ask? I needed this.

The true nature of my selfishness, however, was brought sharply to mind when God reminded me of His Son. Jesus, too, was often thwarted in His attempts to get away from the crowd. The same scenario happens over and over, and He always reacts the same way. Here's one example:

Because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, [Jesus] said to [the disciples], "Come with Me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest."

So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place. But many who saw them leaving recognized them and ran on foot from all the towns and got there ahead of them. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, He had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things. (Mark 6:31-34)

Jesus didn't respond in frustration or irritation when His time of rest was interrupted. He responded in love. His empty stomach, His weary eyes, were not enough to overcome His compassion for the people. In the middle of what was most certainly utter exhaustion, Jesus continued to serve, with a heart that dismissed its own needs without a second thought.

(And yes, after another full day of ministering to the people, Jesus still took time to be alone with the Father (Mark 6:46)--even when His body ached for sleep, He knew that filling His Spirit in God's Presence was by far more important.)

I pray for such a heart. A heart that obeys the Spirit instead of the flesh. A heart that looks to others, always to others, before itself. Dear Jesus, give us such a heart.