Lately.

I've been tired. I've been depressed. I've been irritable. I've been whiny. I've been self-deprecating. I've been jealous. I've been bitter. I've been cynical. I've been selfish.

Basically: I have once again shifted myself into the center of the universe.

And it's exhausting. Constantly trying to protect myself, ensure my own happiness, figure out my future. Worrying about the hundred thousand things that could go wrong every second of the day, spinning my life even further from my control. On, and on, and on.

You know something? I don't think I've ever felt peace when my focus has been on myself.

Peace comes when my eyes are filled up to overflowing with the vastness of God, when I'm singing to Him or serving Him or remembering His promises. Peace comes when my self fades away into insignificance. When I trust God so completely with my life and am so secure in who I am as His daughter, I don't have to spend all my time dwelling on it, stressing and striving and doubting.

Trust. It's what my life keeps coming back to, lately. Pulling me in like gravity. Reminding me: It's time to turn my face to Him again.