Because Today, I Don't Feel Like Writing.

Tonight, I don't really have anything to write. Fresh out of inspiration. To be honest, after writing eleven pages of my novel today, I just don't feel like writing at the moment. Is that okay? Will you worship with me instead?

This song came on my Pandora radio station just a few minutes ago. And I thought it was such a beautiful, powerful song, to sing to our Jesus. So take a moment, let go of the distractions. Whatever it takes for these five minutes. Listen to the words. Let the music move you. In Spirit, and in truth.

The Truth About Love (Dare You to Read It All).

Originally written July 30, 2009. 

I used to wonder why those romance movies were all the same. How two lovers endured through trials and struggles to be together, and then lived happily ever after, made complete in each other. Why do our hearts yearn for that kind of love to be true? 

The answer is: because we were created for that kind of love. The problem came when we took that fairy-tale to the world and asked for fulfillment, instead of taking it to God, the Lover of our souls, who was the only fulfillment. And I hear girls sigh as they long for such romance, and I watch girls grow bitter as their hearts break time after time, the world screaming at them: the stories are all make-believe; there is no fairy-tale for you. And I see girls, beautiful girls, settle for cheap experiences and cheap imitations of this thing called love, because they no longer believe they are worthy of anything more. 

Beloved, you have listened to the lies of the enemy for too long. You walk around in sackcloth, when God longs to clothe you in white. You walk around weeping, when God longs to put a smile on your face. You walk alone, when God longs to pick you up in His arms and carry you. You strive, you strive, you strive, because you believe the lie that you are not worthy to be loved, and somewhere deep in your heart you think if I can just be good enough, then I will be worth loving. My sisters, I plead with you, open your eyes! God is ready to pour out bucketloads of His love and peace and and joy and freedom! All you have to do is lower your walls of unbelief. Believe the truth, beloved. The truth is: You are beautiful. You are loved. You are a glorious bride. You are a daughter of the King. To believe anything else about yourself is to call God a liar. To believe anything else about yourself is to settle for less than your destiny. 

If you have not had an encounter with Truth before, I pray it over each one of you. Because these words alone are not enough. But the power of Truth and Love stands behind these words, and I know that power is enough to break down any barrier, break away any chains--for that power comes from God. He is Love, and His word is Truth. With that power I write these words, with that power I pray over you. 

I call out to you as a sister who has experienced that power and been changed by it. I call out to you as a girl who believes in fairy-tales again. I call out to you as a woman who has decided that it’s worth the risk to say: Yes, I am beautiful. Yes, I am royalty. Yes, I am loved. Yes, I am significant. No, not because I worked hard enough and finally reached the goal. I am all those things because I came to my Daddy-King as a dirty mess, and He cleaned me up and made me holy and called me His own. Then He spoke the truth over me. He told me I was beautiful, royal, loved, a world-changer. For a long time, I didn’t believe Him. But after years of striving, I finally stopped, got on my knees, and cried out to Him. And this time, when He told me how much He loved me, I said, “Okay, Daddy. I believe You.” Then I crawled into His lap, and I’ve been resting there ever since. Sometimes the old ways of thinking come back, sometimes for a few moments I clamber down again and try to wade through the muck of life in my own strength. But then I remember who I am. And my laughter bubbles over, for my Prince Charming loves me with a Love that moves mountains and turns back death. I know my happily ever after has already been won. So I rest again, secure in His promise. Call me crazy, or naive. But I have tasted and seen the goodness of His love, and I refuse to turn back. I am so thankful that I have found my fairy-tale...yet my heart hurts for so many who are missing theirs. 

Don't you see? This promise is for you! Believe the truth, precious one. With God, the impossible is made possible. Dreams do come true. There is such a thing as true love. Come Beloved, with the child-like faith that the world could never quite bury. Your fairy-tale is waiting for you. 

And suddenly she smiled. Because for the first time in her life, she silenced the lies, and in the stillness heard her Father whisper the only truth there ever was: “Beloved, you are beautiful.” 

Who? He Is.

We have many names for God, many words we use to describe Him. In fact, I'll bet that if we sat down to write a list, we could continue on into eternity. Infinite names for an infinite God, for no one name can truly describe Him.

But out of all God's names, the one I find to be the most fascinating is that which He ascribed to Himself as He spoke to a trembling man from a burning bush: I AM (Exodus 3:14). Is that not the most comforting name for our Father to have? He is who He is. Yesterday, today, forever. Regardless of our belief in Him or our misconceptions about Him, He is who He is. He does not change His nature to suit our culture, or to fit more easily into our finite minds. He doesn't need an explanation, He doesn't need to be defended. He simply is. Not was, not will be. Is. He is. Forever and always.

Think, Think, Think.

I think God misses us, most days. I think we have a tendency to neglect Him, to get lost in the busyness, in all the things we have to do, in all the things that need to get done, in all the things hanging over our heads, in all the things tugging under our feet, in all the things, things, things.

I think we are too proud of the ten minutes we give Him, the fifteen, twenty, thirty minutes we give Him, most of which are spent still worrying about all the things, complaining to Him about all the things. I think after we check our "devotional time" off our list and rush off to all the things, God stays, standing in the empty room with His hands outstretched as the door slams and our footsteps fade away, pleading, Just five more minutes, my son, Just five more minutes, my daughter, Just five more minutes, my beloved. Please, just five more minutes with you.


I think if we would stay five more minutes and listen, we would fall in love with Him and never want to leave. I think all the other things would grow smaller, and He would grow larger in our eyes. I think we would have more time to breathe, to think, to laugh, to love. I think the world would be more beautiful, I think our hearts would be more beautiful.

I think it would make God happy, I think it would make us happy, if we stayed just a little longer. I think I don't have exactly the right words to explain it, but I think the ones I have written are true.

My Plea? Not Guilty.

It's kind of ridiculous how quickly guilt can overtake me. In fact, the best way to manipulate me is by making me feel guilty (unless you happen to hit my stubborn streak in the process, in which case you may as well give up). This complex has caused me to have great difficulty in saying "no", the mentality that I have to try and make everyone happy, and an abhorrence for ever inconveniencing anyone. And probably a host of other issues as well--but I digress.

Unfortunately, using guilt as a form of manipulation within the Church is all too common, a practice that is both unhealthy and un-Biblical. Guilt tells us that we are failures, that we aren't good enough, holds the checklist of the law in front of our faces and declares us unworthy. I believe guilt is what Paul is referring to as "worldly sorrow" in 2 Corinthians 7:9-10:

"I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." 

So if worldly sorrow is guilt, what is godly sorrow? The term I would use is conviction, and it comes not from the world, but from the Holy Spirit living inside us. Conviction lets us know that our actions do not line up with our Father's character (and thus, our character, as His children) and causes us to repent, to change, to conform to the image of Christ. But it is essential to understand that conviction, or "godly sorrow", leaves no regret. In other words, the mistakes we made do not continue to haunt us, our past does not continue to plague us.

Guilt, however, brings death. It traps us in our old identity, keeping us from moving forward into our new lives in Christ. It reminds us of who we were, instead of encouraging us in who we are. We become so obsessed with looking back, we stop straining toward the hope that lies ahead. Guilt keeps us from experiencing the truth reiterated over and over in the New Testament: "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death," (Romans 8:1-2).

We have been made new. We have been set free. To live in guilt is to deny the gift God has given us. Your past has been washed in the blood of Jesus. Let it go; after all, God already has.

To the Best Dad in the Whole World:

Happy Father's Day, God! I just wanted to tell You, especially since today is a day to celebrate our dads, how much I love You and how happy I am to be Your daughter. I even thought about getting You one of those singing cards, or one of the funny ones with a penguin on the front, but I figured You would rather have my heart. So I'm giving it to You, again. I know I have given it to You many times, and sometimes I take pieces of it back because I am afraid or selfish. And I'm sorry. I want You to have all of my heart, Daddy. 

I also wanted to say thank you, because that is another good thing about Father's Day--it reminds us to remember and appreciate everything our dads have done for us. So thanks for everything, Dad. For dancing with me and singing over me and carrying me on Your shoulders and giving me hugs and showering me with gifts and holding my hand and telling me I'm beautiful. Thanks for loving me more than anyone else ever has or will, and for teaching me to love my brothers and sisters and neighbors the way You do. When I grow up, I want to be just like You!  

Love, Your Daughter, Alyssa :) 

P.S. Since I didn't get You a singing card, I decided I should at least get you a song:  

Past Discoveries & Bathroom Ponderings.

Originally written January 17, 2009.

It was a cycle, you see. Over and over again as you look at the Old Testament: the Israelites would turn away from God; God would withdraw His protection and allow some other nation to conquer and oppress them; the Israelites would cry out to God for help; God, in all His grace and mercy and love, would reach down to rescue them. Why did this keep happening? Why didn't the Israelites learn their lesson? They knew the history. They knew what had happened before and what would happen again. I think the answer lies in Judges 4:3. "Because he had nine hundred chariots and had cruelly oppressed the Israelites for twenty years, they cried to the LORD for help." They did not cry out to God because they saw their sin and realized what they were doing was wrong. They cried out to God because they were suffering, and they wanted a way out. There was no true repentance in their hearts, no true desire to seek after God. We see this situation described for us in Psalm 106:34-46.


We oftentimes look at the past of the Israelites and wonder what in the world they were thinking. It seemed as soon as God had saved them, they went right back into their rebellious practices. And yet, do we not do the same thing? Return to our sins, return to the dirt and filth that God sought to cleanse us from? Our Father knew this from the beginning. He knew that the blood of every lamb upon the earth would not be enough to redeem our fickle hearts. For every lamb that was slaughtered, another sin would be committed. How could such a cycle be broken? There was only one answer. There was only one Lamb whose blood was precious enough to atone for every sin ever committed and every sin that ever would be committed by every person ever to walk the face of the earth. That Lamb was the Son of God. His name was Jesus. He paid the price, once and for all. For all those who were truly repentant, those who had a true desire to seek after God. Those who accepted His sacrifice have been made new.

And that causes me to wonder. We are not bound to the fate of the Israelites in the Old Testament, for we have been given a new covenant. We are no longer under the law, we are no longer under condemnation. When we are washed in the blood of the Lamb, we no longer live a life of defeat, but a life of victory. So my question is: why are God's people still living in defeat? Why do we continue to live as though we are fighting a losing battle? The cycle has been broken! We are no longer slaves to our sinful nature. All fear, all inadequacy, all guilt, all despair, all darkness has been vanquished in His name. Is that not a glorious truth? This is freedom I speak of! Yet we do not live in it. We are content to live our lives as though we are struggling just to make it through, when our Father has offered rest for the weary. We are content to pity our shattered hearts, when our Father has offered healing for the broken. We are content to cower beneath the gaze of the rest of the world, when our Father has offered His authority and power to His beloved children to overcome the world. Yes, we are weak. But I believe His grace is more than sufficient. Stand upon the love of our God, the truth of His promises, the Rock that will never be shaken.

Jesus said in John 16:33, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." So take heart, beloved of God. Fall in love with your Savior once again. Rejoice in His amazing, incomprehensible love! I know that is what I am being reminded to do. Life doesn't always make sense to me. But when I sit at the feet of the King, and feel His Presence wash over me—that makes perfect sense. I will take heart, for I know my God is here.

Advice for Introverts & Gardeners.

Confession: I've had a lot of trouble figuring out how to be an introvert in the Kingdom of God. Being called to go out and change the world and whatnot is quite a daunting task when you're really much more comfortable being invisible.

When I ask God to "change" me, mostly what I'm secretly hoping for is a personality transplant. You know, I want Him to go poof! and suddenly I am a very courageous, outgoing person who can stand in front of a huge crowd and tell them about Jesus--it doesn't even have to be a huge crowd really, a small one will do. I want to have this confidence that makes my thoughts quiet enough so I can speak without stumbling and make plans without second-guessing myself. And I could go to another country, even if they didn't speak my language, because I would just be so charismatic and loving and God would shine through me, and I would know that I was investing my talents, and I would be able to hand them over to God and say, look God, see how I've multiplied the gifts You've given me! 

It's always made me uneasy. The story of the talents, that is (see Matt. 25:14-30). Because that last guy, the one with only one talent, reminds me of myself--which is incredibly terrifying, since at the end of the story he is thrown out into the weeping, gnashing darkness (v.30). Why? Because he told his master this: "I was afraid and hid your talent in the ground," (v.25). Which sounds frighteningly like a response I would give. If there is one single thing that keeps me from something I could or should be doing, it is fear.

I could go on about this subject for a long time. Probably a few hundred pages, if I was feeling really ambitious. Fear versus faith and all that, how God tells us over and over again to stop being afraid, that the Spirit that lives inside us is bigger than fear, that He is the strength in our weakness, and really if we just quit whining and would look to Him and hold His hand, everything would turn out okay. But I think that would be a bit much to expound on, here.

So back to the story of the talents. Basically, God told me--or is in the process of telling me, to be more accurate, because it takes me quite awhile to learn these things, and He has to repeat Himself a lot--to stop asking for other people's talents when He's already given me my own. I am an introvert, and He's not going to magically change that just so it's easier for me to talk to people. Yes, I may have to stretch out of my comfort zone at times, or even most of the time, but I will be fine because His strength is made perfect in my weakness; and really, if it was my strength, I'd probably become so inflated with pride that I would get in the way of God's glory, and it would just be a big mess.

I began writing this blog because this is my talent. One of them, at least. God told me to do this, and so I am doing it, and I have no idea what the return will be. I don't know where these words will go. Maybe they will simply stay right here, truths rushing back to strengthen my heart even as I pour them out. Which is good, and enough, even when my selfish side insists that it would be cooler to stand in front of a bunch of people and have 3,000 of them get saved at once. But God tells me not to worry about it, that He is the one who makes things grow. He only asks us to plant the seeds, and it's okay if we start with the small ones.

That's how He likes to start, too. With small people like me, and you, because He loves to make things grow. And that makes me very glad.

Jacob's God.

Last Sunday in church, we sang the song "Give Us Clean Hands". As we did, I started thinking about the lyrics, especially the last half of the chorus:

"Oh, God let us be a generation that seeks, that seeks Your face, O God of Jacob."  

It used to bother me when stuff was phrased like that--God of Jacob, God of Abraham, God of Isaac, etc. It seemed impersonal to me. It seemed odd to say the "God of so and so" when He was my God. But as I began to understand more and more the beauty of Old Testament Israel being equivalent to the New Testament Church--they were God's chosen people, the people of His promise, just as we are, making them our brothers and sisters--I opened up my mind a bit more to the connection between myself and the forefathers of the Old Testament.

So, I started thinking deeper. Why did this song say God of Jacob, exactly? Why not Abraham? Because two syllables fit better in the song than three?

These questions got me thinking about who Jacob was. The name "Jacob" means "deceiver"--not the best of names, to be sure, especially in the Old Testament culture, when your name was basically synonymous your identity. And if you've read about Jacob's dealings with his twin brother, Esau, you'd discover that his namesake was quite an accurate one.

But that is not the whole story. The most beautiful part is that Jacob's name changed. He wrestled with God for a blessing, and God told him, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel ["He struggles with God"], because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome," (Gen. 32:28). And not only did Jacob's name change after this radical encounter with God; his walk changed. God wrenched Jacob's hip out of its socket during their tussle, causing him to walk with a limp (Gen. 32:25, 31).

Great story, but what does it have to do with this worship song? Just what are we asking God when we plead "Let us be a generation that seeks Your face, O God of Jacob"?

Our generation has many names, and none that I've heard are very flattering. Selfish, Materialistic, Ungrateful, just to name a few. But what if God, the God of Jacob, the God who changes things, even our very identity--what if God gave our generation a new name? What if we sought God, wrestled with Him the way Jacob did, crying out God we refuse leave Your Presence until we see Your face and are changed! It may be painful. It may mess us up. It may give us a limp that we carry with us the rest of our lives. But I'll bet if we asked Jacob, he'd tell us it is so much more than worth it. For Jacob saw the face of God (Gen. 32:30).

Now, when I sing that song, that is my prayer. God, give this generation a new name. Let us be called the Ones Who Seek Your Face. Mess us up forever in an incredible encounter with You.

And the Verdict?

If there is one thing the Church is known for (excepting, perhaps, our hypocrisy), it's our judgement, particularly towards nonbelievers. And it's really no wonder. I have seen with my own eyes bumper stickers informing non-Christians that their children are going to Hell. This attitude is often initiated early, striking especially hard when we reach our teens, told that if we hang out with anyone who is not a Christian, we will immediately be corrupted and pulled down into the black hole of sin.

To be honest, I much prefer all Jesus' talk about love and mercy to this idea of judging others. So when I find a passage in my Bible that is entitled Expel the Immoral Brother!, it kinda makes me queasy. But it is in the Bible, and I've learned that you can't just skip over the parts that make you uncomfortable. When I read it, however, I discovered something wholly unexpected and beautiful.

I discovered that we have absolutely no right to condemn nonbelievers, or even to disassociate with them. Here, read with me:

"I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people--not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave the world. But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

"What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside." -1 Cor. 5:9-13 (emphasis added)

So yes, there is a place for our judgement. But it is not for those outside the Church; it is for those within it. In doing this, Paul is advising us not to condone hypocrites--people who claim they know Jesus, but live habitually in a manner that totally contradicts Him. No, not just a Christian who struggles with sin, but supposed Christians who continuously engage in sinful behavior, with no sign of repentance or remorse. For these people are not ignorant to the truth; they know it, and yet spit in its face, slandering the name of Jesus before the whole world (Heb. 10:26-31).

And when we do address sin in the Church, this passage is not saying we do so by ostracizing any Christian who sins. God asks us to deal with His children much more tenderly than that. Rather, "If anyone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens," (Galatians 6:1-2). Notice, it says, "you who are spiritual"; in other words, only those of you who have already removed that two-by-four out of your own eye (Matt. 7:1-5). And when any of our fellow brothers or sisters does repent of sin, we are immediately to "forgive and comfort him [or her]" (2 Cor. 2:7).  

When I thought about this principle of judgement in the larger context of the New Testament, I found it to be, to the best of my knowledge, universally true. Whenever the apostles are giving instructions about what is right, and condemning what is wrong, they are speaking to the Church. And we are never called to deal with it in a way that is cruel and self-righteous, but in a way that reflects the way God has dealt, and continues to deal, with us--out of a heart overflowing with great love and mercy.

Ultimately, God is the only true and perfect judge. I find myself only inexpressibly thankful that ours is a story of incredible mercy, and grace, and a love that covers over a multitude of sins.

Dear God,

I am tired, to be honest. Of waiting. Of living this day-to-day, these motions I know by heart, while the future looms black with uncertainty. I am afraid I will spend my whole life waiting this way, wondering when I'm supposed to move, and where, and how.

You promised, Daddy. You promised that wherever I went, Your voice would follow after me, saying this is My way; walk in it. But I do not know where to go. I am praying and listening hard, and I think I am not doing a very good job of it because I am all twisted up in confusion and uncertainty and fear. God, I do not know where to go. I only feel that if I do not move soon, I will sink.

I want to get away from the noise. These constant distractions, yelling in my eyes and ears, the responsibilities that nettle my brain with persistent cries of something more to do, something more to do, and all I want is some peace. That quiet place, where my thoughts can rest. Where there is nothing more to think about, at least for a time.

I know the answer. I have always been good at knowing the right answer. I know that I should rest in You, because You are the most trustworthy of all, and You are here with me, even now. But how do I get there, God, how do I rest? Teach me how to rest. Teach me how to wait, just a little bit longer. I am sorry I am so selfish. Won't You fill me up with You?

I wish my words were enough to bleed out the feelings. But when they fail, I know You do not. Abba, I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!

Experience the Awesome.

"LORD, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O LORD. Renew them in our day, in our time make them known." -Habakkuk 3:2

This has been my prayer. One of them, at least--I have many. We serve an awesome God. Many of us have heard about His awesomeness since childhood. We've heard about the miracles God did in the Old Testament, the miracles of Jesus and the early Church in the New Testament. We've sung "Our God is an Awesome God" more times than we can remember. God is awesome. Yes, we've heard.

We've heard that He is a God who moves mountains. No, I'm not just talking metaphorically here. I'm talking about a God who said He would literally pick up a mountain and move it if we had the faith to ask and believe, a God who said "Nothing will be impossible for you," (Matthew 17:20).

We've heard that He is a God who heals. Again, I'm not talking about the figurative side that we tend to emphasize, God "healing your heart", though of course, He does that as well, and in truth it is a far more important and miraculous affair. But we need to recognize that God also heals physically, instantaneously, inexplicably. Jesus did it over and over again while He was here on Earth, and then told His disciples in John 14:12, "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father," (emphasis added).

We've heard that He is a God who parts seas, calms storms, comes in a fire, comes in a cloud, comes in a whisper, makes people fall on their faces, walks on water, opens the eyes of the blind, brings the dead to life, brings water out of rock, rains bread down from heaven, creates galaxies with a single command. And we are His children.

But no matter how many times we are told, the words about His awesomeness will never truly sink in if we do not experience it for ourselves. His mountain-moving, cancer-healing, water-walking, world-creating, mind-blowing, law-defying, box-breaking awesomeness. The American Church is so far away from understanding the weight of His glory. And we are so far away from understanding the epic calling He has placed on are lives as His ambassadors, His children, His vessels of light to a world drowning in the dark.

Dear God, give us the thirst to seek Your face, and the faith to be Your hands. So that one day You may change our prayer, and we will say with Job:

"My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you." -Job 42:5

The Truth About Reality.

"What, you would like to be a bird? Fine then. You are a bird. Though in that case, it inevitably follows that you are also a lie."

I do not believe that truth is relative. I do believe, however, that reality is. Truth is true, it simply is, regardless of whether you believe it to be or not. But reality, what is real to you and the way in which you live as a result, is entirely subjective to your beliefs. The problem is, most people are living in a reality that is totally counter to the truth. And yes, when I say "most people", I am including Christians.

Our Enemy is the father of lies (John 8:44). And unfortunately, we incorporate a great many of those lies into our reality. Lies like, "God only performed miracles back in the days of the early Church" or "You can never truly be free of your past" or "God could never use someone as broken as you" or "God does not have a great destiny for you; you should just go through the motions of day to day life, 'cause this is as good as it's going to get."

But as we live in these false realities that bind us and keep us from all that we are called to as sons and daughters of the King, the truth is crying out. God is crying out. He wants to shatter our realities and invite us to live in His, the only true reality. The reality of who we are as His beloved people, and the freedom and power and peace that comes with it. The reality of who He is, and the faith and joy and love that comes with that.

Our Father has so much that He wants to lavish on us, if only we will seek Him. Not just head knowledge of the truth, or an acknowledgement of it as truth, but experiencing His truth and incorporating it into our lives, founding our reality on it. It is the only foundation that is firm. All else is sinking sand (Matthew 7:24-27).

And how do we know the truth? Jesus gave us a simple answer:

“If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” -John 8:31-32 

Seek Him. Follow Him. He will never lead you astray.

Sing Me to Sleep.

Originally written November 10, 2009.

God spoke to me as I lay in my bed last night. He said, in a voice I felt more than heard:

"You are not a Leah. I did not work, did not die because I loved someone else and you just happened to come with the package. I saw you from the first, beautiful one, and loved you. You do not have to strive to earn my love, you do not have to compete for my affection. You are the bride who has stolen My heart, you are the one I have fought for. Do not live like a Leah when I have called you a Rachel; do not live as one unloved when I have called you beloved."

Then I fell asleep and slept soundly.

*Note: References from Genesis 29:16-28. 

Be Happy, and Know It (Clap, Clap).

One of the most profound moments in my walk with God occurred one night in a church when I was on my knees at the altar, on the breaking point. I was crying out for change, crying out for anything. As He stilled my heart and quieted my thoughts, enveloping me in His presence, I smiled. And He said to me: "I love to see you smile."

When I heard those words, I laughed out loud. And I felt such joy--it was like, with those few words, God was giving me permission to be happy. Weeks later, I would think of that moment, and a grin would spread across my face, a giggle would spill out.

I don't know where I got this idea that I was supposed to be serious, sober...sad even. Maybe it's because the central image of Christianity is a man dying on a cross. Sometimes, I think we focus on that image so much, we neglect to mention the best part: He rose again. He was victorious over sin, over the grave. And as His brothers and sisters, it is our inheritance as well (Luke 8:21; Rom. 8:17). Of course, it is essential that we (attempt to) grasp the sacrifice it was for Jesus to come and die for us. But we cannot forget that its central message is not death, but life.

Or maybe we carry this burdened mentality because we focus so much on the fact that, as Christians, we struggle. We repeat to ourselves over and over Jesus' statement in John 16:33: "In this world you will have trouble." The only problem is, we (often subconsciously) leave out the rest of the verse: "But take heart! I have overcome the world." Sure, we suffer. But if anything, we should be rejoicing in those sufferings (Rom. 5:3; James 1:2). Jesus has already won the ultimate victory, and He has given us the spoils.

Or maybe, after all our talk about the grace of God, somewhere in our hearts we still view Him as a Being who looms over us, ready to punish us at our first mistake. Maybe our warped perspective comes from a million different things. A million lies, a million distortions keeping us from an incredible truth.

God loves to see you smile. He loves to hear you laugh. He loves to watch you dance. He delights in your happiness, as any good Dad would. He created it, after all. In fact, it is a reflection of Himself, for we are made in the image of our Father.

That is not to say that sorrows will not come, or that we will never mourn. But do not give in to the lie that we are bound by these sorrows. We are the sons and daughters of a King who loves us immeasurably, who holds our hearts securely in His hands. What's not to be happy about?